Before I start this post, I feel like I need to clear up a few things with the three of you that still read this blog. Not only am I a horrible blogger, but I am also a horrible liar. I said I was going to update more, and that has become a platitude of epic fail. It's also the antithesis of what my goal is here: to get my work exposed and build up my writing cred enough to actually get leads on freelancing. That would be a hell of a lot easier if I actually updated more than twice a month, and I clearly need to re-focus my energy on both writing awesome (if random) bullshit and getting people to give enough shits to keep coming back for more. Only way to do that is to post more and better articles, and that is my intent from here on out. Scout's honor.
Ok, back to bullshitting. This is something men will appreciate more than women, but it's still pertinent to anyone reading this as it deals with a subject that we all encounter on a daily basis: public bathroom etiquette. As a precursor, let me explain something that we dudes call the "One Three Five Rule" (I'm not sure if this has been inducted into the sacred halls of Man Law yet, but it should be). [EDIT: It is!!] Quite simply, you put at least one urinal of space between you and your fellow potty breaker when availability of urinals allow for it.
To do otherwise is an invasion into the privacy of one of man's most private acts: pissing.
Now I know what you're thinking: "What's the big deal? And don't act like you didn't publicly pee on than cop car last weekend you schmuck." Like I said above, you need privacy "when availability [will] allow for it". Going home after a night of hard living, based on the fact that you left the house in the first place, naturally trumps the preferance of privacy normally afforded to Seabiscuit impersonations. Besides, it's not like my friends stood around and watched me relieve myself against squad car 1-Tango-13 (the police sure did, though).
