Everyone and their mama will (rightfully) call me out for having a sexist-ass title to this post. And it's true: it's so sexist that I admit that in this post I'm making flamebait from the title on down. But I couldn't go to bed without sharing this with anyone that cares to read along.
So, we all know that in a city as big as New York, eventually you're bound to get solicited with sex by a pro and/or madam. Little did I know that it would happen in one of my favorite after-hours jumpoff spots.
I was in a bar on 3rd Ave in Murray Hill (I won't get more specific than that since I actually like the place and would like to go back someday) when I ended up dancing with some chick. She was cool from the minute I saw her: black, and thick and fine from the cornbread and the cabbage, to use the expression. Obviously the vodka cranberries were dictating the terms of this convo, but I was vibing with said muchacha, and since I was out, I figured I'd do what I like, which is drink and dance.
Anyways, I'm just chilling with the friends that I came with, when homegirl calls me over. To make a long story short, her friend is flashing me her punani like we're at a meat market, and the pro is kissing up on my neck. Weird as all hell.
At this point, I've entered Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" song; I'm like "no, no, no".
I may be an attention whore, but I'm so not paying an actual whore to do what most bar patrons will do to me for free. That being, point and smile at my drunken bar antics. [EDIT: I'm still kind of in shock about the whole thing; I've never gone out to chill with my friends and been solicited so I actually feel slightly violated]
Again, to fast forward since I really need to sleep and in the interest of not boring my audience, let me say that the madam and the pro tried to get me to go with them to whatever undisclosed location they use to get some dick/money cash out of less savvy johns than me. But my mama raised no fool; no chance in hell my dignity is up for sale to any pro, real or fake.
The moral of the story: love and loving is free. Anyone trying to charge you for sex is a skeezer that doesn't deserve your dick (or vagina, if you're of the female persuasion). Also, soliciting pros is hella bad if you're trying to find the type you wife. I'm still feeling weird about this, wow.
NOTE: no judgment if you're a pro, or if you solicit them. I just don't get down like that.
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